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Im really torn up about what to focus my career on. I have been studying philosophy and Japanese language and culture in undergrad, I even studied abroad in Japan for a year, but my spiritual pursuits overtook my educational pursuits. I found myself staying in more and reflecting and reorganizing my inner world doing deep work on healing and integrating pain or letting go of people and situations that are no longer serving me. While this was very important work im not sure how incorporating this into a career would be, I am very passionate about spirituality. I have also found myself learning Portuguese instead of immersing myself in Japanese language like I got bored of only focusing on Japanese for so long. I tried to stay consistent with it, ive been studying for over 4 years but I am at a point I want to do more or new things i still want to continue studying because I want to keep this skill i now have but i feel tired or bored, like I don’t actually know what I am doing with it. I have gotten deeper into my spiritual practice and my connection with the Morrighan which I started about 3 years or so before. Practicing divination to reflect and heal shadow aspects of self is something I am drawn to doing as well. I started a YouTube channel and have been posting my advice and my path that I have been taking to share with others. I also just want to be creative like crochet or making candles baking playing with clay, creating recycled projects that sort of thing. I want to work from home so that i have time to do all of these things I want to do. I feel like maybe I am a “starving artist” type of person where I don’t care if im not really making income I just want to make, but I know income is important because money gives us options in life. I want to continue doing school and complete a masters program but I also want to take a break from studying in an academic setting and just self study for awhile until I am more clear on what I want to pursue. I know I can do anything I set my mind on and excel at anything but I also know I need to rest and take some time to collect myself. I will be 30 years old this year too and have been thinking of having a family but i am also on the fence about that because I want kids and also don’t want kids at the same time because then i will have to give some of my time to them as well, it feels like i am sitting in the center of all of these options and im not sure where I want to go next. I know I want to buy a house and set up a home base, then perhaps it will be easier to think about these next steps because I will have some place to land. My spiritual pursuits take prescience I think. I want to travel for personal growth purposes. This coming week I will go to Kyoto for my first ever spiritual retreat, granted its self induced and self regulated I think it will be the start of something beautiful. Like a caterpiller going into a cacoon. I spent the last year studying and finishing my degree, this feels like a very well deserved trip to end this chapter of my life. I am not sure where I will go from here but wherever I end up I know it will be divinely blessed.